


Reassurance

by catpoop



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: 2014 Cup of China, 2014 World Figure Skating Championships, First Kiss, Fluff, Holding Hands, Hugs, M/M, Pooh, Tickling
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-21
Updated: 2016-11-20
Packaged: 2018-08-23 17:06:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 10,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8335576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catpoop/pseuds/catpoop
Summary: 'It all starts with a touch to his waist.'yuzuru has a mini-crisis, and javier can't seem to keep his hands to himself





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> crapped out this drabble cos the yuzuvier feelies r too much

It all starts with a touch to his waist.

Yuzuru’s doing his own thing at one end of the rink when Javier silently glides up behind him and suddenly wraps an arm around his waist. 

“Brian’s telling us to come over, didn’t you hear?”

He’s too startled to respond and shakes his head minutely, fighting the urge to leap out of that warm and reassuring grip. Javier steers him towards Brian with a nonchalant look on his face and Yuzuru wonders if he’s just not gotten used to Western customs. Probably.

Brian ends up having to repeat his instructions when Yuzuru stares blankly at him.

\-----

Javier keeps to himself for the rest of the day, except for the occasional arm slung over his shoulders or hand wrapped around his wrist. _But that’s nothing strange,_ Yuzuru tells himself, _everyone does that._ Javier maybe more than others, but it’s only natural, seeing as they’re rinkmates and steadily becoming good friends.

He remembers the first couple of weeks, when everyone had been put off by the skinny Japanese boy with his bad English and habit of bowing at anything and everything. He hasn’t really changed, but they seem to have gotten used to it – to the extent that Javier finds it perfectly normal to place a hand on the small of his back the next day when he’s bent over and greeting the ice.

He nearly topples forwards and extends his repertoire on the rink to include forward rolls. Javier’s hand is still there when he straightens up and awkwardly eyes him, to see the characteristic sunny smile decorating his face.

“Good morning.”

“Ah – yeah.” Yuzuru hastily bows and skates forwards, which shifts the Spaniard’s hand from his back, but also leaves him feeling a little less steady on his feet. 

But of course, it’s crept onto his back within seconds of Brian calling them all over, radiating warmth through the thin material of his practise outfit.

\-----

After a week of mulling things over and being continuously faced with Javier’s oh-so-casual touches, Yuzuru comes to the conclusion that he, in all honesty, doesn’t exactly mind. And that a blush sometimes rises to his face when recalling the scenarios, but that’s not of great concern.

With a resolute stare at his reflection, he tells himself that he _will_ get used to Javier's handsiness. Getting the butterflies in his stomach under control would be a plus, too.

\-----

Javier cups his cheek with a warm hand the next day after practise and Yuzuru feels his soul collapse to the floor in a dead faint. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Javi's POV, as requested by TerpsyCurie haha
> 
> this was fun to write as well c:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for all the kudos + comments ^^  
> im back with more ...  
> where is this going ... guess we'll all have to wait and see

Javier notices. Of course he does.

The first time he casually sneaks a hand into Yuzuru’s, the teen looks at him in abject shock. Or at least a well-concealed version of abject shock, which consists of a slight widening of his eyes and opening of his mouth. He regains his composure when Javier smiles confidently in response, fingers tightening a little and arm held stiffly as Javier leads him towards the rink, blade guards scuffing on the ground.

Yuzuru directs a questioning look not at his face, but at their linked hands. 

“Ah – Javi …”

“What’s wrong?” Javier rubs his thumb against the back of Yuzuru’s hand in a way that can’t entirely be called accidental, feeling the spark in his chest light up at the sensation. 

“Oh, uh – nothing.”

Javier hums a reply, not letting go of his hand until they have to lean down and take off their blade guards. He’s already thinking about the next chance he’ll have to hold Yuzuru’s hand. It’s a pity they have to be all competitive on the rink, instead of skating in casual circles – he could probably get away with holding hands for the entirety of practise if that was the case.

Javier isn’t too sure when he started noticing Yuzuru as more than a quiet, stammering addition to the rink, but he’s certain it’s largely due to that criminally tight practise outfit he wears. Javier’s only human. So who can criticise him when he starts taking steps to warm up to Yuzuru and to develop a friendship between them?

“It’s not a requisite for straight male friends to hold each other’s hands,” an annoying voice at the back of his mind nags, and Javier shushes it in favour of easing into Yuzuru’s grip for the umpteenth time this week and watching as he squirms nearly as much as the first time. Maybe it’s because they’re out on the street this time, instead of shut up in the privacy of the cricket club.

It’s hard to let go when they part ways, and Javier hopes he imagined the look of relief that had crept onto Yuzuru’s face.

\-----

There’s a shift, soon enough. Yuzuru grabs his hand to drag him, skidding, across the ice when he’s not paying attention to what they’re supposed to be doing. Or to help him back onto his feet when he trips over them in the middle of a jump.

It’s probably because Yuzuru’s gotten more used to the environment and the people around him, including Javier, but he likes to imagine it’s more than that.

Which is why the next time they’re together, by which Javier means that they’re standing _very_ close, something that both of them have gotten used to and Brian less so, he slings an arm around Yuzuru’s thin shoulders, squeezing his upper arm as the teen scrutinises a video of himself performing. He’s so engrossed in noting down every flaw he can see that Javier nearly gets away with his actions, even when his arm slides down a little, encircling Yuzuru’s back and thumbing at the pointy parts of his elbow. Yuzuru’s wearing his usual short-sleeved top, and Javier smiles weakly to himself.

Javier watches the on-screen Yuzuru dance to the quiet music filtering from the speaker and wonders if he should be using this well-earned free time as productively, instead of feeling up his friend and daydreaming about Yuzuru’s cheerful and childish laugh, and his propensity to crack bad jokes in English that has Javier laughing in part-confusion, part-delight, and the occasional words or entire phrases of Japanese that creep into his daily conversations, and …

He snaps back to reality when Yuzuru crosses his arms and lets out another absent-minded hum. His shift in position means that one of his hands now rests loosely on top of Javier’s own hand which is still curled up on his right elbow.

“Um.” Oh shit, he said that out loud.

Yuzuru turns and looks at him, his mini on-screen counterpart still waltzing around, and Javier watches him sneak a look at their hands out of the corner of his eye.

“Hm?”

“Oh – haha – nothing. Go back to watching your video, it’s not over yet.”

“Okay, Javi.” 

Yuzuru’s warm against his side, especially where his shoulder nudges against Javier’s collarbone.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> javi and yuzu (unsuccessfully) play videogames

Yuzuru curls up in his bed, hovering between wakefulness and slipping back into the sleep of the dead, when his phone buzzes shrill and persistent beside him.

_What is it, this early in the morning?_

His phone reveals that it’s more noon than morning, but he huffs tiredly anyway. There’s a message from Javi, far too abrupt and impolite for this time of day that Yuzuru thinks about falling back to sleep.

‘wake up. come play videogames with me’

He shuts his eyes in response and another message appears.

‘i know u saw that last one’  
‘im so bored’

’Fine. But after noon.’

And with that, he faceplants back into his duvet and conks out until his mother raps on his door and reminds him to get his life in order. But today’s a day off, so Yuzuru doesn’t slide out of his bed until at least half an hour later, lazily scrounging in the kitchen for something to eat and only properly waking up when he can smell lunch being made.

“Okaa-san, can I go to Javi’s house?” He says mid-bite, and she, as usual, agrees instantly. Something about him needing to go out and spend time with friends more often, despite having the responsibility of being a world-renown skater.

Javier’s apartment is a quick ten-minute bus ride away, and he takes the lift up and knocks on the door with practised ease. He’s been here half a dozen times, and no more than that only because of all the times he sees Javier at the cricket club, to the extent that they should both be getting sick of the other.

Javier swings his door open to reveal the familiar interior and the squashy Pooh toy that Yuzuru filched from a past competition sitting in its usual spot on the worn-out couch. 

_’Pooh will make sure you don’t live in a rubbish bin,’_ Yuzuru smiled, and Javier grumbled at him but accepted the offering anyway. 

His apartment isn’t as dishevelled as before, at least, and Yuzuru sits down, cuddling Pooh to his chest and watching Javier switch the TV on and ready the controllers.

“What are we playing?”

“The usual,” Javier says, without turning around. “I saw a figure skating simulator at the store, but I was kind enough to not get it.” 

“Aw, thank you Javi,” Yuzuru grins, “But maybe Brian will let us play skating video games instead of practise.” 

Javier hands him a controller. “Don’t be silly – and stop squishing Pooh, he’s gonna suffocate.”

“So you _do_ care for Pooh.”

“Of course I do.”

The room is finally quiet after they choose their characters and launch into an intense match of mashing buttons and twiddling joysticks. Javier’s sat on the ground, leaning against the couch while Yuzuru behind him sinks into the cushions. Maybe having the hard unyielding wooden floor against his butt would help him concentrate more – he watches his sprite encounter another gory death at Javi’s hands and lets out a drawn-out sigh. 

After several more defeats, Yuzuru comes to the conclusion that drastic measures will have to be taken if he wants to exit the room with his dignity intact.

“Ja – vi,” he whines, watching the Spaniard turn around and smirk at him.

“Don’t think you can blame me or Pooh or even all those quads you did this week if you suck.”

He’s not exactly exaggerating, Yuzuru’s loath to admit. Though it’s only logical for Pooh in his arms to be a hindrance, or for the lethargy in his legs to travel up to his hands.

Yuzuru’s half- thinking of an excuse and half- concentrating on beating Javier both on-screen and in real life, when a thought occurs to him. Quietly and stealthily, he uncrosses his legs, somehow still managing to not die (which only demonstrates the skill he has in this game), and casually runs a foot down Javier’s side.

The choked yelp that bursts out is enough to have Yuzuru breaking into a fit of giggles, and he grins toothily at the menacing glare directed at him. 

“Oh, is this how we’re gonna do it now?” 

When all Javier gets in response is another giggle, he stands up and lunges at his friend, pulling Yuzuru into a headlock and tickling him under his ribs until he collapses into a puddle of breathless laughter and Japanese insults.

“Stop it, Javi! Or I’ll – I’ll,” 

“You’ll what?”

Javier gets a foot in the gut the next moment and falls to the floor, winded. The game and their controllers lie forgotten, all their previous concentration now focused on getting back at the other without suffering tickle-induced convulsions. 

“You dirty cheater!” Javier growls, picking himself back up and grabbing at Yuzuru’s leg just as he dances out of reach, bouncing back up onto the couch and holding Pooh protectively in front of himself.

“Don’t attack unless you want to hurt Pooh as well!”

Javier pays his outburst no mind and lunges, squishing Yuzuru (and Pooh) in his arms and feeling the lean muscles on the skinny frame under him shake from the laughter that Yuzuru’s still gasping through. The sudden burst of adrenaline has him relentlessly digging fingers into Yuzuru’s sides and laughing at the reactions he’s getting.

“Is Pooh gonna protect you now?” He looks at the face on the plush toy distorted out of shape and smirks.

“Yes.”

Javier’s cut off when Pooh smacks him in the face and his arms loosen enough for Yuzuru to slide out of his grip and make for an escape.

“Haha – hah – you can’t hug me to death!” Yuzuru wheezes, stumbling towards the nearest door. Javier readies Pooh in his grip, about to launch the fluffy thing at the back of Yuzu’s head when the teen trips and slumps to the ground, body heaving.

_Wait. What the fuck?_

It takes barely a second for Javier to leap to his side, brow creasing in concern when Yuzuru’s laughter turns into wheezy coughing that doesn’t subside, shoulders trembling from the effort. He strokes Yuzuru’s back in a blind panic, only coming back to his senses when he sees him point at the bag in the corner and croak out a few indistinct words.

_Right. Inhaler. Of course._

“Shit, here – Yuzu – ”

Yuzuru takes the proffered inhaler with shaky hands and slowly breathes in the medication, smiling reassuringly at Javier when he finally regains his breath.

“Haha – sorry for that,” he mumbles, turning and looking at where the controllers are still sitting.

“What? Don’t apologise, I shouldn’t have tickled you so hard and – ”

Yuzuru laughs. “Come on, Javi, let’s just play that figure skating game instead.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> havent written so much fluff in my life


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 2014 world championships are looming, and Javier can't afford to be distracted  
> (hes distracted)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aw

With early March comes the foreboding that the World Championships are less than a month away, and Javier sighs at the thought of having to pack his luggage yet again despite having gotten back to Canada just a month ago.

Maybe in the future he’ll stop ever unpacking again. His eyes his suitcase in the corner with a grimace and wonders if he can rope Yuzuru into helping him. Of course, his friend is just as busy, if not more so, so Javier can’t help but feel a little guilty as he invites Yuzuru over and wastes his time.

They find themselves at the airport eventually, packed and ready to go, half of Javier’s shirts picked out by Yuzuru and Pooh nestled against the latter’s chest.

In approximately twelve hours they’ll be touching down in Japan, and Javier notices the spark of excitement lighting up Yuzuru’s eyes at the prospect. The teen always manages to look excited when they’re travelling, even if the flight is scheduled for before the crack of dawn.

Javier lets out a yawn. There’s nothing like being crammed into a metal box for ten hours at a time. 

He lets Yuzuru take the window seat, smiling at the sight of him being entranced by the city below shrinking away into the clouds.

A few hours into the flight Yuzuru falls asleep, head against the wall, and Javier reaches over to brush a stray lock of hair out of his face. The annoying voice in his head reflexively spins him around (as though he were a naughty child doing something off-limits) and he stares at Brian next to him, making embarrassed eye contact.

Brain raises a nonchalant eyebrow.

\-----

They arrive in Saitama late at night, and despite the fact it’s nearer to noon back in Canada, Javier’s far too disoriented to even think about staying up or having lunch (at this godforsaken hour) or getting lost exploring the dark corners of the city. He falls face-first onto the comfy but foreign-smelling bed, and it’s only thanks to Yuzuru that he gets up and shuffles into the shower, fiddling with the strange controls in confusion.

When he shuffles back outside, Yuzuru is perched on the other bed, bouncing up and down with the energy he must have accumulated from taking half a dozen naps on the plane. 

“Javi, let’s explore the hotel.”

Javier groans in his direction and slumps unconscious onto the duvet, mumbling in gratitude when he feels Yuzuru tuck him in, tutting all the while.

\-----

Luckily for him, there is still a day of practising left before the championships properly begin, and Javier wonders if this might be a good time to go sightseeing.

But then he sees in dismay Yuzuru up ahead, hastily following Brian in the direction of the looming stadium in front of them, and the harried assortment at the stadium running through their programs, and then Brian’s face as he bids them a hasty goodnight far too early in the evening. Yuzuru only slows when Javier pulls his short program costume out of his suitcase.

“Hahaha, what is that? No no, put it on!” The incredulous expression decorating his face is a complete contrast to the look of concentration Yuzuru had been sporting recently, and his laughter cuts through the stillness of the night.

Javier sighs.

“It’s just the usual kinda thing,” Javier sulks, eyeing the red and yellow stripe running down the back of the upper half in distaste. 

“I bet yours looks just as stupid,” he adds.

Neither of Yuzuru’s outfits look bad, and Javier runs a hand over the shimmery fabric in almost-reverence.

Even though Brian told them, as if they were still children, to get to bed early, the two of them lie splayed out on the bed for a few more hours, Yuzuru watching a comedy show on the TV in interest and Javier lying on his back near him, thumbing at his phone. 

Yuzuru grabs him around the ankles and nearly pushes him off the bed after having to swat his feet away from him for the third time.

“Oi!”

“Stop trying to tickle me, Javi. Are your feet clean?”

“Of course they are.”

The sound of Japanese filtering from the speakers and Yuzuru’s occasional laugh fades into the background as Javier lazily burrows into the duvet, blearily blinking at his screen.

“Hmm …”

“What?” 

He looks up at Yuzuru’s sudden question. “Oh, nothing. I was just wondering which of these ugly close-ups of your face I should post. Maybe all of them?”

Javier unsuccessfully rolls away as Yuzuru leaps at him with a cry, trying to wrestle the phone from his grasp.

“What ugly photos? Javi!” He batters at the Javier’s back, the man curled up like a turtle and shaking with laughter.

“Don’t dare post them! I’ll take thousand photos of your short program and – ”

“They’ll record the whole thing anyway,” Javier says, muffled.

He tries to slither out of Yuzuru’s grip but fails when he gets an elbow to the ribs and then a pair of hands tickling his waist. It doesn’t take long after that for Yuzuru to roll him over and pry the phone from his (cold, dead, and unwilling) hands.

Javier glares, still hiccupping with the last remnants of laughter, as Yuzuru scrolls through his pictures, eyes narrowed in suspicion.

“There’s no ugly photo of me.” He states with an air of finality, tossing the phone back to Javier. “Stop lying.”

A shutter clicks in his direction and he gapes as Javier lunges at the other, untouched bed, fingers maniacally tapping.

“There is now! And it’s – fuck,” he gasps as Yuzuru tackles him to the mattress, “ – posted!” A click of a button locks his phone and Javier sprawls out on the bed, grinning as Yuzuru stares helplessly at the lock screen and pouts at him.

“Was it really ugly?” He asks, wondering if more violence will convince Javier to delete the photo.

“You never look ugly.”

“Hmph. No.” Yuzuru turns to look at Javier but the Spaniard’s closed his eyes and let out a fake snore.

_Whatever._

\-----

He’s scheduled for right after Yuzuru in both the short program and the free skate, and Javier realises with disappointment that he won’t be able to watch any of his performances live.

“Good luck, Javier,” Yuzuru mumbles into his shoulder as they quickly hug; Javier’s mid-way through his warming up, tinny music coming from the earphones he’d just removed and draped around his shoulders. 

“Shouldn’t I be the one saying that?” He watches Yuzuru bounce his way out to the rink, filled with nervous energy.

He catches a glimpse of Yuzuru beaming and waving at the crowd as he finally emerges from the back, heart beating rapidly not only because of his warm-up exercises. He lets out an internal cheer as he sees the score onscreen: first, of course, because he can always trust Yuzuru to go into any competition and emerge victorious. Javier is a little envious of the talent that his friend has always possessed, but he’s more envious of the crowd who has just spent four and a half minutes watching Yuzu dance his way around the rink. 

It’s his turn to do that now.

There’s a flash of white in the corner of his eye where Yuzuru has stood up to briefly holler encouragement at him before relocating to the green room.

Good thing Yuzuru won’t be stood in front row the entire time; he can’t afford to be distracted now.

Javier hears the familiar thrum of music and smiles confidently at the crowd, watching them and seeing nothing but a blur of speed.

If he closes his eyes he can try to imagine that this is just the millionth run-through back at the club, but he doesn’t want to accidentally collide with the walls, or fall down face-first.

The four minutes feel like an eternity, the breaks between each jump a brief respite for him to gather his nerves, to calm down, and remind himself to stop glancing at the judges where they’re sat eyeing him with calculating looks.

Javier comes in third. He sees his score onscreen and hears the announcer say his name, and sees Yuzuru in the green room and the audience clapping for him. The nervous bundle in his stomach still hasn’t dissipated, though, and Brian herds his jittery self away from the rink to where Yuzuru’s waiting.

Yuzuru leaps up from his seat. “Congrats, Javi!”

“Guess I couldn’t beat you this time, huh?”

“Maybe in the future,” Yuzuru smiles.

\-----

The medal ceremony is the day after, fortunately, because in Javier’s current mentally worn-out state, the prospect of having to stand and wave and smile at the multitude of cameras seems insurmountable. There was enough of that today already. Not to mention the interviewers who might just sneak up on him when he’s not paying attention. He considers ducking behind Yuzuru when the time comes, and sneaking away as they’re distracted by the champion.

When they finally step back into their hotel room, Javier is torn between his bed and the shower and Yuzuru’s urging is the only thing that stops him from collapsing right there on the floor and instead haphazardly tearing his clothes off, desperate to take off the restricting layers.

“Ew – Don’t throw your clothes,” Yuzuru chastises, but Javier ignores him, already mentally in the shower and physically less than a metre away.

The hot water pelting down on him helps to slough off some of the stress and leaves Javier craving his bed like some sort of deprived addict. Or just a really tired man.

He lets out a colossal yawn, towelling his hair dry as he stumbles into the corridor. It’s kind of chilly now that he’s left the warmth of the bathroom, and Javier regrets not putting a shirt on. Oh well. He can wear the duvet instead.

At the sound of the door snicking open, Yuzuru turns to look at him, eyes widening as Javier nears and reaches his arms out.

“Ahh – I’m so tired. Gimme a hug?”

He pouts when Yuzuru agilely ducks out of reach and skips towards the cloud of moisture coming from the bathroom.

“I haven’t showered. You can hug later.”

When he emerges twenty minutes later, face pink with warmth, he sees Javier propped up against the headboard of his bed, phone held loosely in his grip and choked snores leaking from his throat. Yuzuru’s kindness is the only thing that can prevent Javier from waking up tomorrow with a crick in his neck and back and being forced to stand on the podium looking half-dead. 

He whacks one of the large and overstuffed pillows into Javier’s face.

Javier gurgles awake. “Huh?”

“Are you alive?”

“What? What time is it?” Javier looks around in bleary-eyed confusion. “Oh yeah, didn’t I request a hug?”

Yuzuru rolls his eyes in response but tucks himself against Javier’s side anyway, leaning over to fish his DS from out of his bag. Javier has to tighten his grip around his waist to stop him from sliding off the bed.

They’ll have to put on a professional face tomorrow, in front of all the videocameras and interviewers and swarms of fans. But for now, nothing is more pressing than simply lazing away and basking in each other’s warmth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1900w for this chp when can i get it back up to steady 2000s


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nam has his suspicions ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nam ... _is suspicious_ ...

Nam is only fourteen, but he likes to think he’s perceptive. Mature. All around nice guy and good with people and …

But he still can’t help feeling a little intimidated by the Javier-Yuzuru duo and their combined talent, even if they’ve never acted the slightest bit hostile to him, instead going out of their way to make him feel included. He’s only fourteen, but he still tries to understand the jokes the two of them make and the things they talk about, frowning in confusion. Especially Yuzuru’s fascination with Pooh. Maybe it’s a grown up thing, the way Javier can piece together Yuzuru’s English when he’s hiccupping with laughter or the latter interpret Javier’s indistinct grumbling.

Just this day, in fact …

Nam had been watching just out of the corner of his eye, but only the near-blind would have missed the frustration building up in Javier with each messed-up quad salchow and every collision with the ice. Javier stays on for one last (somewhat-successful) attempt when everyone leaves to pack up for the day, ignoring Yuzuru who waves at him to get off the ice.

“Oi! Javi!”

Nam ducks out of the way of the Angry Spaniard as he skates over to Yuzuru, blades catching on the edge of the rink and nearly tripping and falling forward, if not for the hands supporting his shoulders.

Nam totters over to one of the benches and works at taking his skates off, idly looking around every now and then. Which is why he sees Yuzuru sandwich Javier’s still-grumpy face between his palms, tutting at the man like some sort of reprimanding mother.

Nam gapes, head swivelling around like Javier’s does when Yuzuru dashes out of the room and returns a moment later clutching a drink he must’ve just bought from the vending machines. Javier’s expression morphs instantaneously as the drink is presented to him.

“Thanks, Yuzu! How did you – ”

“You drink that when you are angry.”

“Oh, okay.” Javier nods understandingly.

But Nam doesn’t understand. He nearly gets up to leave when he realises one skate is still firmly on his foot and he sits back down with an inaudible sigh.

\-----

Something seems off when he agrees to go out and get lunch with the two of them one day. Not the restaurants they’re debating between, no. Or the jovial tone in which Javier immediately agrees.

Nam finally realises what the strange tingle in his gut was when they make their way to the restaurant together and he notices all of a sudden that he’s walking behind Yuzuru and Javier. When did that happen? His position gives him a very good view of the way their shoulders brush every now and then, and the arm that casually sneaks around Yuzuru’s waist for a few seconds before the teen elbows his companion. Nam narrows his eyes in suspicion when Yuzuru tilts his head towards Javier to laugh in his ear, before striding forward and forcing his shorter legs to walk in time with the others.

“Oh yeah, Nam,” Javier suddenly says, “Do you think Brian was particularly grumpy today? I wonder what we did to piss him off.”

“Yeah he was,” Nam nods. “Maybe he’s on his period or something.”

Javier chuckles at that, absentmindedly tugging at Yuzuru’s arm when he nearly walks in front of a car. “Maybe he is.”

When they reach the restaurant (serving the cheapest array of food money can buy), Nam sits down next to Yuzuru, facing the empty seat at their table and looking at the pair next to him trying hard not to hold hands and lovingly gaze into each other’s eyes. Nam feels like the only one with the ability to stop the innocent bystanders in this restaurant from witnessing the two of them making out or holding hands or something equally sappy and gross.

\-----

Yuzuru violently kicks Javier in the shin halfway through a conversation and he bends over with a grunt of pain.

Nam rolls his eyes.

\-----

They leave the restaurant together but don’t get far before Yuzuru and Javier smile and bid him goodbye.

“Where are you guys going? Not back to the club?”

Brian doesn’t force them back onto the ice with their bellies comfortably full and lethargy in their veins, but they usually find a room at the club in which to while away the time. 

“I’m going to Javier’s house,” Yuzuru says, and Javier nods in confirmation.

“Okay.”

Nam nearly invites himself along before realising they’re off to do adult things that he should steer clear of. Yuck.

In fact, Yuzuru spends the next hour sprawled out on the bed and humming along to pop music while Javier next to him conks out, drool smearing on Yuzuru’s thigh before the teen notices and pushes him off in disgust. But Nam doesn’t need to know this.

He eyes the two, especially Javier’s mess of bed hair, when they show up at the club, but says nothing. Fourteen year olds aren’t as impulsive and lacking in subtlety as society believes, he says to himself.

\-----

One morning, Nam is sent to fetch Javier from his house and Yuzuru from very-likely-also his house (Brian called Yuzu’s mum), and he realises he has had _enough_. Why do they get to be late to practise just because they’re making out all the time or … ? Nam shushes himself when the mental images suddenly appear. And are they even dating? Nam likes to think he’s known them both for long enough that he should be privy to that information, but somehow no one’s ever told him.

He huffily storms up the staircase, locating Javier’s door among all the others on his floor and rapping sharply on the surface. A half-asleep figure greets him.

“Javi! Did you completely forget about ice-skating? Do you remember who I am??”

Javier grunts in confusion, wiping the fatigue from his eyes. “What? Oh – yeah, I might’ve woken up a little late.” He pointedly ignores Nam’s _'a little?'_.

“Was up all night playing videogames – ” He lets out a massive yawn. “ – with Yuzu. Oops.”

The grimace on Nam’s face goes unnoticed as Javier turns to retreat back into his hovel.

“Lemme go wake Yuzuru …”

“Don’t tell me he’s sleeping in your bed.” Nam follows the man inside.

“Of course he is, the couch is tiny. And uncomfortable.”

Nam shields his eyes as the bedroom comes into view and wonders if he should escape back to the club right this instant instead of waiting for them to get their lives together. But then no doubt Brian would send him back here to fetch the two lovebirds.

When Yuzuru is safely locked up in the bathroom (the door is ajar, but whatever), Nam turns and gives Javier the most challenging stare he can muster. The Spaniard lazily blinks back at him.

“… What?”

“Are you and Yuzu dating?” He says it loud enough for Yuzuru to probably hear, but there’s no way to suck the words back into his throat. 

“What?” Javier repeats, the boredom on his face being quickly replaced by a look of shock.

“Wait, we are?” Javier wildly looks around like someone had told him there was a killer wasp loose in the house. “I didn’t know he was gay. I didn’t know _I_ was gay. Am gay. Am I?” 

Nam has no answer for him. He backs away a little when Javier stares at him like a madman.

“You know what? Forget I asked. I’m sure I imagined it all.”

“Imagined what?” Javier yells, but at this moment Yuzuru steps back out of the bathroom and their conversation is cut off. Not that Javier even notices, with the way he fawns over Yuzu and appears to completely forget his previous alarm.

Nam smiles dryly at the sight. 

They make it to the club eventually.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cliche, yes, i know  
> but i havent written this exact trope before so TECHNICALLY ...


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> javi and yuzu come to grips with their relationship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another tiny barely-over-1000 chapter

Javier stands alone in front of the sink, pulling a face at his reflection in the mirror. The changing room is empty for the moment, but he can hear voices in the corridor outside and see the scattered belongings of his club-mates. He dries off his hands and idly walks to the door, when a sudden something occurs to him.

Brian watches in confusion as Javier, back from his toilet break, scans the rink for a split second before hurtling in the direction of Yuzuru and almost colliding with the poor boy.

“Yuzu! Uh – ” Javier stares at him in consternation. “Do you – are – gay?”

“Um.”

Instead of laughing at the fool Javier just made of himself, Yuzuru looks a little nervous, brows creasing in agitation.

“Why are you asking?”

“Nam said something strange this morning …”

In fact, Javier can see Nam surreptitiously eyeing them from the other side of the rink.

“Did he?”

“Yeah. Something about how – ”

He’s cut off when Brian places a hand on his shoulder and tugs him away to practise. Yuzuru looks away after a while, but the shadow behind his gaze remains.

Javier watches his friend fiddle with his cuticles when it’s time to leave, acutely aware of the way they’re letting everyone else around them trickle out of the building before saying anything.

“So, Javi. Do you are gay? What do you mean?”

“Are you, um – Nam asked me if we’re dating?” He coughs to mask his discomfort. “I don’t really get what he meant by that …”

“Are you gay?” Yuzuru suddenly asks, a curious glint in his eyes.

“Wait – why does everyone think I’m gay except for myself?” 

Yuzuru raises a brow. 

“I’m just asking. But you kind of sometimes – ” He goes a little pink and Javier has to admit the expression looks adorable on him.

A tiny muffled voice at the back of his mind squeaks out something about ogling butts and habitual touching and Javier nearly shushes it like he usually does. Now that he thinks about it, maybe he’s gotten a bit attached to Yuzuru. But it had seemed like the natural thing to do …

“Okay, I’ll admit that maybe I was a _bit_ gay, but it’s not grossing you out, right? I can stop if you want.”

When Yuzuru doesn’t immediately respond, Javier hastily adds, “Let’s just go back to being normal friends – haha.”

“It’s okay, Javi,” Yuzuru slowly enunciates, “I don’t mind before. What will you tell Nam?”

“Oh yeah, him. Are we dating? Is this another thing I’m entirely unaware of?”

Yuzuru smiles and shrugs at him.

\-----

Nam doesn’t ask again, but Javier keeps in mind the answer he’s prepared. Not much of an answer, but then they’ve not come to much of a decision.

Javier briefly considers how it might be awkward between Yuzuru and him now, but forgets his worries entirely when he helps his friend extricate himself from his tight practise outfit (Yuzuru could’ve easily done it himself but somehow Javier just happened to be on hand) or get rid of the wrinkles on the back of his shirt. They don’t go away easily, so Javier smoothes his hand over the spot several times. They wordlessly go back to their usual routine, and neither tries to bring up the question of whatever-the-heck their relationship is in the weeks that follow.

\-----

From where he’s snuggled into the crook of Javier’s arm and rubbing his slowly-warming fingers together under the blanket, Yuzuru allows himself to think about that one thing that’s been on his mind the past few days.

Javier’s carefree declaration brings to mind his own (accidental) coming out, and the gentle but firm admonishment his mother had for him. Because seven-year olds are too immature to know what’s good for them. But he’d never brought it up again – there was just nothing inviting about doing so.

He looks at Javier and sees the onscreen movie reflected in his eyes and wonders if maybe he should just allow the two of them to continue watching it in peace (or in Yuzuru’s case, mild anxiety). There’s nothing tense in the line of his neck, after all. Yuzuru wonders if Javier might be at peace with never addressing their relationship ever again – probably. With that thought in mind, he turns towards Javier and calls his name, and then elbows him when there’s no response but a slight mumble.

Javier tears his eyes away from the screen.

“Huh? What’s the matter?”

“Did you – um – before, think you are gay?”

Yuzuru thinks of Cortney, and of the way Javier had been so open about it. He can feel the slightest spark of jealousy in his chest, but he’s hardly in the position to be jealous. He focuses on the bob of Javier’s Adam’s apple as he swallows and tries to come up with an answer.

“Not really, I guess. Never really looked at guys like that.”

“Cortney?”

“Yeah, I guess she’s my type? Not anymore of course, haha.”

Yuzuru nods, chin touching the fluffy blanket wrapped around the two of them.

“Okay.”

He pauses, uncertain of how to continue. Javier looks at him curiously.

“Then are you … actually gay?”

There. He’s said the one thing that’s been bothering for him for a while now. Yuzuru tucks his chin under the blanket and peeks at Javier.

Javier hums in thought. “I don’t really know, Yuzu. But if this is like a question of whether I’d date you or something, then – yeah. Haha.”

Now completely ignoring the movie, Javier watches Yuzuru in slight fear as the teen mulls his statement over. He’s starting to get a bit agitated, when Yuzuru finally breaks the silence.

“Okay, then can I have a hug?”

“You can have a hug anytime,” Javier replies, opening his arms and allowing Yuzuru to turn sideways and slip into his embrace, slinging his legs over Javier’s and pressing his face against his shoulder. 

“Thanks, Javi,” Yuzuru mumbles against his sternum.

“We can talk relationship stuff later,” he adds after awhile, finger lazily gesturing at the two of them before appearing to conk out. Even though it’s barely evening. Javier huffs in amusement before focusing his attention on the screen in front of him.

Maybe they’ll try to put labels on things and define their relationship one day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cup of china 2014 will be appearing soon and you all know what that means c:  
> (time for angst)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~~2014 cup of china~~
> 
> Javier feels like a tearful wife bidding her soldier husband goodbye as he watches Yuzuru (and Brian) disappear into the bowels of Toronto Airport.
> 
> ^ what a good metaphor

Javier smiles and waves on the podium, busy searching the crowd and wondering where Yuzuru might be seated. He is, he has to admit, the slightest bit disappointed that the two of them haven’t been assigned the same competitions. No doubt if Yuzuru were here competing at Skate Canada with him, they would be stood next to each other right now. Which brings him to another thought: why had Yuzuru travelled across the entire country (it had been a 5-hour flight, Javier recalls) just to watch him skate for a total eight minutes? Probably to also scope out the competitors, he assures himself. And why is Yuzuru slacking off and gallivanting around Canada less than a week before his own competition in China? Javier internally shakes his head (he’s still smiling at the cameras on the outside). Somehow Brian had allowed it, so he shrugs to himself. And they got to share a hotel room again.

They leave for Toronto that evening, Javier still sluggish from all the exercise he did today (all four minutes and thirty seconds of it) and Yuzuru looking for all the world like a tourist as he gazes at everything with a child-like energy that Javier can’t imagine summoning. He falls asleep two bites into his dinner.

\-----

Somehow, despite Javier’s whinging, Brian doesn’t let him follow Yuzuru to Shanghai a day before the Cup of China begins. Even though the Rostelecom Cup a week later is in Moscow, which is in Russia, and Russia is practically bordering China. Brian squints at him and tells him to go consult a map first before trying to convince anyone that Moscow and Shanghai are next-door neighbours.

He feels like a tearful wife bidding her soldier husband goodbye as he watches Yuzuru (and Brian) disappear into the bowels of Toronto Airport. The voice in his head tells him to stop being dramatic.

\-----

Javier spends the next day running through his programs and tweaking them – they weren’t perfect for Skate Canada, and now he has a week left to improve them for Rostelecom. The pressure has eased somewhat, though, after that first performance.

He wonders how Yuzuru is doing on his short program. He could be performing right now, landing a jump just as Javier teeters on his triple axel. The first chance he gets, Javier whips out his phone and checks to see what Yuzuru has to say. 

Apparently he came in second, and Javier sends his congratulations, waiting for Yuzuru’s response and getting nothing but a line of z’s.

‘goodnight’

’zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz’

Time zones sure are annoying things. He’ll have to wait until evening to properly talk to Yuzuru.

\-----

Javier goes to sleep that night visualising Yuzuru’s tales of Shanghai and listening to his own short program music relentlessly thrumming away somewhere in the back of his head. He grumbles to himself as it repeats another several dozen times.

\-----

When Javier wakes the next morning, he checks his phone as usual for any messages and is somewhat upset to see that Yuzuru hasn’t sent anything. He still has time before he needs to get to the club for practise, so breakfast is spent slowly chewing at a bowl of cereal while looking up videos of Yuzuru – the figure skating fans sure are speedy in uploading all the recordings.

Javier eyes all the middle-aged women in the crowd decked out in Japanese flags. He can imagine himself doing that. Yuzuru comes in second for his short program and Javier can almost hear the impressed noise he makes and his squinty-eyed giggle.

His mood does a 180 when he starts on the free skate. Yuzuru is wearing that nice sparkly red-and-white ensemble, as expected, and Pooh is there next to him as usual, but for some godforsaken reason, there’s a giant flesh-coloured bandage wrapped around the diameter of his head. Javier frowns in concern, the furrow between his brows deepening when he notices the bandage on Yuzuru’s chin and the exhaustion in his eyes as he readies himself to begin the performance. A tiny part of his brain is ogling Yuzuru’s figure and he mentally grabs it around the throat and throws it out of the window.

He really should be sending a message to Brian or Yuzuru, or maybe even personally flying over there right this moment, but Javier finds it hard to tear his eyes away from Yuzuru’s gracefulness on screen.

Yuzuru collapses on his first two jumps and Javier nearly upends the table (and the bowl of cereal) in agitation.

The despairing pounding in his head increases in volume with each fall (five, in total) until he can barely make out the commentator’s rambling or the soundtrack to which Yuzuru’s dancing.

And just when Javier thought he couldn’t get any more distressed, he sees the stumbling, panting way in which Yuzuru makes his way to the sidelines, drooping as though in full-body exhaustion in Brian’s arms.

\-----

He watches (and listens to) Yuzuru sob in the Kiss and Cry and something wrenches in his heart.

\-----

The video cuts off and Javier is left staring blankly at the screen, when he notices a recommended link to something about a ‘… scary crash …’. A sick curiosity moves his finger to tap on the thumbnail, even though he knows what it’ll probably show.

Something to ruin his appetite even further.

He watches as Yuzuru weakly sprawls out on the ice, chest heaving and a trail of blood dripping down his chin, and an uncontrollable feeling of guilt hits him. If only he had gone to Shanghai with them, then he would have – he would have … at least not had to find out the news from a bunch of videos online.

When Javier has calmed down enough to send a legible message to both Yuzuru and Brian, he finds out that they are planning on flying back the next day and arriving in Canada in the morning. Which is at least twenty four hours later.

No one blames Javier for his worse-than-usual performance that day.

\-----

Javier can’t get in touch with either of them for the rest of the day and he falls into a mild panic before realising that it’s approximately the middle of the night for them over in China.

Of course, this doesn’t stop him from checking for a reply another million times or rewatching Yuzuru’s performance to try and pass the time. 

All the more-adult adults around him tell him to stop worrying but Javier is an independent young man who has his priorities in order.

11am sees him rushing to Toronto Airport and nervously awaiting the pair’s arrival. He should be practising right about now, especially with the Rostelecom in five days. But not knowing Yuzuru’s condition saps all his motivation and energy.

And so does seeing Brian wheel him out into the arrivals lounge in a wheelchair, it turns out. They both look dazed from the long flight but Yuzuru more so, head drooping in exhaustion unlike his usual overexcited post-flight self. 

It takes all of Javier’s control to not sprint up to Yuzuru’s side and harass him (as that’s what Yuzuru’s mother is currently doing), and he instead greets Brian, nodding in relief as his coach assures him that Yuzuru only suffered a few cuts and bruises, which had all been treated already. 

“He’ll be fine, but let him rest first, okay?” Brian can almost feel Javier’s tangible agitation. “Don’t go bothering Mrs. Hanyu at her house day and night. You have another competition to be preparing for.”

Javier wants to lean down and tightly bundle Yuzuru in his arms but something tells him that that’s probably not the best thing to do. Especially when Yuzuru’s mother is busy doing so in his stead.

He gives Yuzuru’s hand a quick squeeze when his mother finally lets go and smiles as Yuzuru reassures him that he’s alright and wishes him all the best for the Rostelecom.

At the mention of the Cup, Brian shoos Javier away from where he’d been lurking and trying to follow the Hanyus back home.

“Go back to the club! I’ll be there as soon as I properly wake up from this goddamned flight.”

Yuzuru smiles and waves at him while disappearing into the family car, and it’s just enough to spur Javier into loping back to the club, a little less miserable than before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> javis 2014 sp was gr8 one of my faves
> 
> ya he flew back to japan on the 9th (day after his fs) but this isn’t a non-fictional retelling (even tho I did a lot of research to get the facts correct :/ )
> 
> OH SHIT I JUST REMEMBERED JAVI HAS A CAT HOW HAVEI NOT WRITEN ABOUT EFFIE YET guys get ready for a lot more cat (if i dont forget again)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my bois r all grown up

Yuzuru stays inside for another day, at the insistence of his mother. He doesn’t feel as lightheaded as before but the stitches on his head are a little irritating. Nothing that should prevent him from stepping out the door, at the very least. But his mother says no, so he ends up spending his day cooped up in his room, alternating between texting his few friends, playing computer games, and snoring into his duvet. The life of luxury, if you were to ask him in the midst of training. 

But Yuzuru gets so bored from the lack of activity that his mother sighs and lets him out of the house the next morning, like a farmer might let out a horde of rampaging sheep from their pen.

When he arrives to see Javier in the midst of practising, Yuzuru barely has a chance to near the rink before the Spaniard rushes over and tackles him.

“Did your mum let you out of the house!” He screams it more than asks, and Yuzuru stumbles backwards, making eye-contact with Brian in surprise.

“You can go take a break for now, Javier, but I expect you back here in fifteen minutes.”

Javier waves a reply and bundles Yuzuru around the waist, pulling him away to the break room and presenting him with food from the vending machine before he can blink (he quickly takes it before Javier begins to spoon-feed him in agitation).

“Are you sure you’re okay? I was so worried.”

Yuzuru nods hastily to reassure Javier, but the anxiety on his face doesn’t go away.

“I saw the video of the crash! And your free skate!” Javier yelps, tightly gripping his hands.

Yuzuru thinks back to his cold and dazed state, rolling about on the ice, and the increasing pounding in his head with each jump and spin and collision with the ice.

“I’m okay now, Javi. You don’t need to worry.”

He leans into Javier’s warmth as the man gives him a tight hug, suddenly pulling away when he remembers Yuzuru’s injuries.

“Wait, I’m not hurting you, right?”

“No, it is just my head and chin.” 

“Okay. Good.”

Arms wrap tightly around his waist as Javier buries his face into Yuzuru’s neck, breathing out all his bottled-up anxiety from the past days.

He raises his head after a while. 

“Can I – ?”

“Huh?” Yuzuru questions, but whatever else he was trying to say is cut off when Javier softly touches his lips to his own.

He blinks in confusion as Javier pulls back, blushing lightly.

“Huh?” Yuzuru repeats when Javier peers worriedly at him, and it takes a second for him to comprehend what had just happened.

Yuzuru’s face lights up just as Javier loosens his grip around his waist and makes to flee the room and he leans forward to properly touch their lips together. This reminds him of the cute boy from his childhood and their attempt at playing adults. But that was in the past, and Yuzuru refocuses his attention on the body pressed against him and the soft sounds they make as they part, hesitantly looking into Javier’s eyes.

Javier’s the first to interrupt the silence, pupils still dilated.

“Um. So that was okay.”

Yuzuru nods slowly.

“That’s good,” Javier continues in his same stunned monotone. 

“Then are we – ” Yuzuru begins, the words sticking in his throat.

Javier finishes the sentence for him. “Dating? Sure, if you want. Nam already thinks we are anyway.” 

He tries for a carefree manner but Yuzuru can see the way Javier eyes him, nervously awaiting an answer.

“Okay, Javi.”

He pulls the man in for another swift kiss before spinning him around and pushing him out of the room.

“Brian is looking for you now.”

“Oh yeah. That guy.”

They exit and turn into the corridor, Javier still being pushed forward by Yuzuru’s hands on his shoulders – though he probably would’ve already collided with several walls in his current joyfully dazed state if not for Yuzuru.

“Yuzu, is your mum letting you on the ice today? Or are you just here to cheer for me from the sidelines?”

“I had my kit with me. Didn’t you see?”

Javier supposes he hadn’t, but he’s hardly to blame when Yuzuru’s thrilling return far outshone any other details.

Practise that day is half-spent on trying to physically and mentally separate the two (Javier wastes a little too much of his time thinking of that kiss he somehow mustered up the courage to give), until Brian calls it a day and they reattach at the hands.

Nam eyes them suspiciously as he always does but refuses to comment. Even when he notices the particularly lovey-dovey look in their eyes.

\----- 

When they enter Javier’s apartment (a quick text to Yuzuru’s mother informs her of the matter, as per usual), a sudden awkward atmosphere fills the room. The last time it was this awkward was when Yuzuru first stepped foot into this place, brain overheating and gears furiously whirring as he tried to come up with enough English words to make some sort of conversation.

Back in the present, he busies himself with Javier’s pantry, mindlessly making a bag of microwave popcorn (not that it requires much thought in the first place) and trying to figure out how people dating – _boyfriends_ , he amends – should act around each other.

To be honest, Yuzuru had fled to the kitchen in a bit of a cowardly act, after not being sure how to respond to Javier’s quieter-than-usual demeanour. But his action is in vain, because Javier wanders over a moment later, lured in by the smell of popping popcorn.

He goes back to his normal clingy self in a matter of milliseconds, draping an arm around Yuzuru’s shoulder and peering at the microwave.

“Is it done?”

“No.”

Ordinarily, he would’ve pulled back and exited the kitchen, not patient enough to watch the seconds tick down. So it takes Yuzuru by surprise when Javier plants one on his cheek and smiles at him before giddily waltzing off to the living room. 

Maybe he isn’t that cut out for this dating thing, Yuzuru thinks as he spills half the popcorn onto the counter, cheeks still glowing. By the time everything’s where it’s supposed to be (incl. heart no longer in throat), Javier’s already started on whatever rude cartoon it is this time. He repositions his laptop so that Yuzuru can see and firmly seats him down next to him, popcorn and all.

“Careful!”

“Okay,” Javier mumbles through a mouthful. 

Yuzuru jumps when the hand that had snaked around his waist sneaks under his shirt, but doesn’t protest. It doesn’t tickle, anyway. Nor does it feel intrusive.

The fast-paced English had already posed quite a challenge to Yuzuru, but when combined with the slow stroking motion of Javier’s hand at his waist, comprehending the show onscreen seems an impossible task. He focuses on chewing the buttery handfuls.

\----- 

After a day or two of this ‘dating’ thing, Yuzuru finally realises that it’s not too different from his and Javier’s usual relationship. So maybe Nam _was_ correct. To think a fourteen year old noticed before either of them …

But then he remembers the sleepovers they have every now and then, and the uncertainty returns full force.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> more fluff! more anxiety!

Quickly enough, kissing becomes a familiar part of their interactions, though Javier still feels a warm tingle every time one of them leans in quick peck, usually when they’re situated in a dim corner or out of sight. Yuzuru doesn’t want his mother finding out, and Javier has to agree that making their relationship public is bound to complicate things, especially with Brian. He imagines having to abstain from physical contact until the Grand Prix Final is over. Yeah, better to keep everything on the down low for now.

Not to mention their respective competitions keeping them far too distracted to consider how they might do a big reveal or deal with the consequences. Javier finishes the Rostelecom in a jubilant first place, while Yuzuru becomes harried and antsy as the NHK Trophy looms nearer and nearer. Javier doesn’t crow about his victory for too long when he notices the pronounced agitation in Yuzuru’s movements and the deepening grimace on his face with every misstep or fumbled jump.

Reminds him of the Cup of China, Yuzuru admits when Javier confronts him about the tension that has been visibly radiating all throughout the day.

_And my getting gold’s making him feel inadequate,_ Javier’s brain suggests. 

Considering that Yuzuru came in second with a head injury, Javier has nothing but optimistic expectations for him.

“You will do well. Like every time.”

“Last – ” Yuzuru begins, but Javier shushes him.

“Last time was an accident. You had no control over what happened but you still came in second. NHK will be fine, as long as you practise and perform confidently.”

Yuzuru nods slowly, distracted by the worry roiling about in the pit of his stomach and the lingering pains from the still-visible bruises. He presses a quiet kiss to Javier’s lips as thanks.

\-----

He goes off to Osaka having torn his nerves to shreds with every hour of training he could fit in and piecing them back together with the help of Pooh (squashed in his arms) and Javier (a hug for every fall, and a hug for every well-executed jump).

And he returns three days later with nothing but fourth place to his name.

He’s managed to (barely) get into the Final, and Yuzuru curses the crash with every fibre of his being. And every stupid cut and bruise that stubbornly remained just to spite him and drag him down during this competition.

Javier sees the grim look on his face and blanches slightly, but congratulates him for getting a spot in the GPF in a cheerful-enough tone.

“Thank you.” 

He goes straight home from practise that day, partly due to the jetlag, but also because it’s far easier whiling away his time brooding in his room and suffering several mild heart attacks at the thought of nearly not making it into the Final, than trying to explain to Javier how exactly he’s feeling.

Javier sends him a goodnight text and he squints at the screen, the sick lurching in his gut lessened slightly.

“Goodnight, Javi”

\-----

Unfortunately for Yuzuru, the GPF is in ten days, which means he isn’t allowed the luxury of taking a day off to mentally slap himself back into working order. He just has to do so whenever the chance presents itself.

He barely keeps his nausea and frustration in check through a combination of drowning his thoughts, whenever they appear, with music and confirming to himself with every endless repetition that he _can_ do all the jumps and spins.

Spending time at Javier’s would probably also help, but both of them are too worn out after each day’s training that all they want to do is crawl into bed.

Javier suggests sleeping over, one day, and Yuzuru only agrees because that’s the one activity he won’t feel guilty doing (as opposed to something like going out when he could be practising, or sneaking out mid-training to make out in the corner. Not that they’ve done so at all). 

(A voice in his head asks him: what if you _weren’t_ to take skating so seriously? And he shushes it, wondering where it might have popped up from. Yuzuru hasn’t heard that doubting tone in years.)

\-----

Javier unlocks the front door and ushers Yuzuru in. It’s only eight in the evening, but he looks dead tired, and Javier wonders if he’ll have to reschedule all the wild and exhilarating activities he had considered doing. Such as watching another movie. Or catching up on football.

“Hey, Yuzu, what do you want to do? More skating practise?”

Yuzuru nods seriously, before giggling at the look on Javier’s face.

“Change into pyjamas, first. And then – uhh –”

Javier can see Yuzuru busy debating between his DS and his phone. And hopefully nothing exercise-related.

“Haha, I’m sure we can improvise later.”

Yuzuru nods at that, absentmindedly shuffling off to change his clothes.

His thin pyjamas do little against the December cold and Javier follows a shivering Yuzuru onto his bed and under the duvet. His frozen toes stray a little too close to Javier’s thigh and he pokes an aggressive finger into the sole of Yuzuru’s foot.

“Ow!”

Yuzuru flops against his side in protest, eyes fluttering shut as though about to fall asleep.

“Do you want to do anything? Or can I watch football for five hours?”

“Not five,” Yuzuru mumbles. “Go to sleep early. Grand Prix in … six days.”

He stays silent after that and Javier busies himself with his laptop.

There’s movement against his arm and he looks down to see Yuzuru staring at a spot in front of him in concentration. 

“Hmm …”

Javier makes a questioning noise in response.

“Hmm … we can kiss?” Yuzuru awkwardly smiles at him.

Javier realises after a moment that Yuzuru was answering his question, but by that time he’s agreed already and wound an arm around him as he properly sits up. His fingers on the keyboard still as Yuzuru cups the back of his head with one hand and licks into his mouth. Tastes warm.

“Mmph.”

Javier strokes the swell of his ass and back of his thigh as Yuzuru gets up on his knees and hooks a leg over him to settle in his lap, the two still attached at the lips.

He pulls back after a while, face red and heart pounding.

“I thought you were tired?” 

“I can be tired and kiss. And it’s cold.”

Yuzuru tugs at the duvet and pulls it around his shoulders, shifting atop Javier’s thighs and slumping against his chest. He lets out a yawn.

“Am I too heavy?” He asks after a while, having fallen silent for a bit and letting Javier forget his presence by drowning himself in football.

“If you’re too heavy I’ll push you off.”

Yuzuru makes a smacking noise with his lips and drifts off again. He wakes up when Javier lets out a full-body cheer and dislodges him from his lap.

“Huh?”

“Hahaha – we won! We won!”

“Mm.” Yuzuru tucks himself against Javier’s thigh and reaches over to grab his phone from the nightstand.

“Congrats,” he says after a moment, as though his brain had just woken up and comprehended what had happened.

Somehow, despite being on the verge of falling asleep all through the night, Yuzuru manages to force Javier to clean up and go to bed (and properly, not just falling unconscious where he’s currently sat in bed) an hour before midnight. Maybe it’s the lingering anxiety that’s been following him throughout the last two weeks.

And speaking of anxiety, Yuzuru realises, with a sudden hot blush, where exactly he’s currently lying, and where exactly Javier’s arm happens to be (around his waist, which is natural, but somehow every point of contact feels hot to the touch). The duvet doesn’t help in cooling him down and he lifts a corner of it, only to quickly wrap it around himself again when the subarctic air rushes in. Javier tightens his arm, as though to warm himself up against Yuzuru’s body.

Yuzuru only falls asleep that night due to pure willpower. And also maybe because spooning in bed is far too comfortable and something he really could get used to. In fact, Yuzuru thinks, Javier could even do something cliché like groping him or popping a boner, and he wouldn’t be frazzled.

He stays awake after that thought, eyes wide in (probably) distress.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if u guys have fluffy (or angsty) prompts u want to see in future chapters u can send them to me on tumblr  
> because i may complete this and give it a plotline sometime, but i sort of also want to just add fluffy drabbles and such every now and then

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading lmao
> 
> swummeng-geys.tumblr.com :3


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